


you take what you need (and you don't need me)

by Cinnamonbookworm



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, DEATH RELATED SPOILERS, F/M, Major Spoilers, Separations, finn feeling free and finding friends, rey adventuring around the galaxy on her way home, why do i always make everything angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5586916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamonbookworm/pseuds/Cinnamonbookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn and Rey deal with being worlds apart. And the feeling of wondering whether or not their time together meant anything to the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you take what you need (and you don't need me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whisperedwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedwords/gifts), [jaygarreck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaygarreck/gifts).



> so the title for this actually comes from a song in spotify's official playlist for finn. it's called recover and it's by chvrches, so i'm basically taking it as a semi-canon translation of his feelings.
> 
> also i know absolutely nothing about the map of the galaxy, so if the way i’m writing this is making their journey look like the one from the emperor’s new groove, i am very sorry. just wanted to write some finnrey for a friend.

Rey doesn’t think about Finn for a while.

That’s not totally true - she thinks of him almost every day, almost every moment. He’s the first person who ever came back for her, after all. That means something.

But she doesn’t think of him as a fully living, breathing _person_ for a while. Mostly because he’s in a coma for so long and she has other commitments.

Commitments that should be more important, since they concern the fate of the galaxy and not just the fate of her heart. First finding Luke. Then training with Luke. Learning how to take all the fog that has clouded her mind for as long as she’s been alive and using it to help people.

And that’s what she’s been doing - helping people.

The Millennium Falcon likes her but it’s misbehaving a little. Rey assumes it’s just mourning the loss of Han Solo. Just as they all are. It’s wires and gears are in sync with Luke, who sometimes looks forward to where she’s captaining the Falcon with this wistful faraway expression that lets her know it’s not her he’s really imagining flying it. It’s Han. It’s always Han.

So they’re not making their way back to D’Qar very fast. They’re trying, they really are, but there’s not a high-stakes energy to return when the Falcon is slightly falling apart and neither Luke nor Chewbacca wants to part with the one thing that they have left of Han.

It also doesn’t help that Luke’s more in-tune with the force than almost anyone else in the galaxy, and he carries a magnificent amount of guilt on his shoulders for his time away from the world. He’s decided to rectify this by stopping every time he feels any sort of disturbance in the force. Rey’s learned a lot about the galaxy and its planets this way, but it is slowing them down significantly.

If they were anywhere near Jakku she’d ask Luke to stop there and let her help a few of those fellow scavengers who’d helped her from time to time. Maybe he’d let her leave a note in case her parents ever came looking for her. They’d know she was with the Resistance. They’d know she was a Jedi.

Jedi. The term still sounds strange to her.

But it’s what those in this bar on Kashyyyk are referring to her as. It’s the reason she’s here, swirling her drink around, hiding in the corner while a swarm gathers around Luke.

She’s not really a spotlight type of girl. All she needs is for a few people to not leave her, and she’s got that. She’s got Chewy, who seems to have taken a liking to her in their adventures together. She’s got Luke, she guesses; he doesn’t seem to be leaving her side anytime soon as the only Light Jedi left.

R2-D2 whirrs peevedly beside her. She manages a bit of a laugh. “Yes, I’ve got you too.”

The little robot beeps again.

She knows what the beep is supposed to remind her of. She knows _who_ the beep is supposed to remind her of. But they’ve been a bit out of service of General Organa’s messages, and she still doesn’t know whether or not he’s woken up yet.

So she downs the rest of her drink, and looks around the bar, scanning for stories the way she used to do on Jakku, when she had no one to talk to so she made do on listening to other people’s gossip.

Chewbaca’s over there with his fellow Wookies. They’re catching up on something. Rey’s learned a bit of [Shyriiwook](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_in_Star_Wars#Wookiee_language_of_Shyriiwook) during her time flying with Chewy but not quite enough to really get it so she moves on.

There’s an Elom talking with two Twi’leks over by the almost-broken jukebox. They definitely aren’t from around here, and Rey suspects the remodeled Alderaan Cruiser she parked the Falcon next to might be theirs. Still, it’s better than dwelling on her thoughts and her semi-loneliness.

“And they said this new pilot guy got his way around this whole fleet of stormtroopers with _both_ Patatites hanging from the side of his ship,” one of the Twi’leks is telling the other two.

Rey wishes it was the word _pilot_ that caught her ear. After all, all her favorite stories when she’d been on Jakku had been pilot-related. All she’d wanted to do was fly.

But it’s not the word _pilot_ that catches her ear, it’s the word _stormtrooper._

It’s the reminder of Finn that punches her in the gut and makes her want to grab her lightsaber (once Luke’s, now hers) and slice through the fog of feelings that’s quickly overtaking her, burning more as she tries to swallow it than any drink ever could.

“Isn’t this the kid who used to be a stormtrooper?” the Elom asks and Rey feels her tongue push into the roof of her mouth and her stomach clench. “Heh,” he drinks a shot. “Ironic.”

It’s _Finn._ It’s got to be. She didn’t even think he was out of his coma she didn’t-

He would’ve sent a _message_ at least, _right?_

She knows they’re far away, that sometimes Artoo’s messages to General Organa don’t always go through. But he would’ve tried to contact her. He would’ve wondered where she was, he would’ve-

But he didn’t. He’s awake and alive and apparently doing _fantastic_ without her.

Rey orders another drink.

Artoo makes a series of beeping noises that Rey’s not in the mood to try and understand.

 

/-/

 

Finn really likes the Resistance.

He likes his new friends (mostly Poe and BB-8, _especially_ Poe). He likes his team and his ships and the way General Organa always smiles at him from across the hall when they see each other.

He likes how he can eat as much as he wants as long as they’re not in ration season. He likes how no one’s afraid to touch each other. He likes not having to kill.

Fin _likes_ being human.

To be fair, he’d probably also like being like Wookie or Nikto or something as long as he was alive and free. That’s also a thing he likes here; here there’s everyone and everything and they’re all nice for the most part. At least, they’re not all trying to kill him, and that’s the most Finn can ask for after what he’s done.

Well, not _everyone_ is here.

Someone was gone when he woke up. Someone is the one last vacancy in what should be a perfect estimation of his freedom. He has everything he’d ever wanted when he’d broken Poe out and escaped - friends, food, freedom. But he doesn’t have the one person in his life that had been so unexpected. The one person he’d found on the way to home and who disappeared as soon as he’d found it.

Finn _misses_ Rey.

She’d been gone when he’d woken up and he’d begged General Organa to let him send her a message, but she’d said their message droids were needed for more important things at the moment. Rey was fine. R2-D2 would’ve notified them if anything bad had happened.

Then she gave him that sad smile of sharing love lost and promised him if there was ever an opening she’d let him know.

There was, two weeks after he’d woken up. But the signal had been shaky and there were doubts about whether or not she’d received it.

There hadn’t been another one since.

Rey never responded, so Finn is assuming she never got it. It’s easier that way. To think that it got lost somewhere in the galaxy rather than jump to the practical explanation that their short time together hadn’t meant quite as much to her as it had to him.

It’s not like when he’d grabbed her hand it had been the first time she’d touched another human’s skin like it had for him. It’s not like Rey wasn’t the type of dangerous girl to go off and have week-long adventures with people before moving on to the next one.

It’s just befor those adventures had been mostly on Jakku. And now they’re across the galaxy.

He can’t contact her but he’s been keeping up on the rumors. Any time anyone hears word of a Jedi now, they run to him with the stories.

She seems to be taking her time coming back.

But that’s okay. It’s wonderful, actually, because the stories say she’s helping people. He can’t possibly find fault in her for the acts of good she’s doing. If anything, it just makes him feel _more_ for her.

He doesn’t really know what it is he’s feeling. All he knows is that one night, after a particularly bad dream, he’d checked with Poe to make sure Rey wasn’t just some side-effect vision from his coma.

Poe had laughed and promised him that Rey was real, slightly force-of-nature, but very real.

So when Finn hears that she’s on Kashyyyk, that she’d single-handedly fought off six stormtroopers in a battle to protect the Wookies of Chewbaca’s hometown, he can only think of one thing:

_She’s getting closer._

_She’s coming home._

He just wonders if she’ll even remember him when she does. Maybe she’s encountered too many bad stormtroopers to remember that there’s still one good one. Maybe she’s grown too far, become too important for him at this point.

He wouldn’t be surprised.

But if he loses her, it’s a small price to pay for the safety of the galaxy.


End file.
